Predestination

Okay, so I have a confession to make. I didn't actually know until seven days ago, that the Catholic Church does not support the idea of predestination. I had thought it was up to our own interpretation and I was leaning towards the "destiny" side of the scale. So, naturally, my world has been turned upside down in this last week and I've had to reconsider a lot of things- in my own life, and in Evelyn's.

The only thing that is certain is that we have freedom of choice, and I've found that I've had to go back to that foundation and work from there.

Let us consider, for instance, the scenario of a woman praying for her future husband. God knows who these prayers are for because God is outside of time and already knows who she will choose. But that's exactly it: she has to choose who he will be. Perhaps she has many choices. Perhaps there is not just "one perfect man" for her.

Then there is the knowledge that God has said He has plans for our lives- perfect plans (Jeremiah 29:11), but it is a matter of whether or not we choose to follow those plans. That there are many roads that we could travel, but one road in particular is better than the others.

So, now, I guess it is my choice that when I come to a crossroad in my life, that I would seek out His perfect plan, and then choose whether to follow it or not.

Choosing choices,

Hear those voices.

Lead me, guide me-

Walk beside me.

Take some time,

Don't wait for sublime.

Speak! -Don't speak!

But I am weak!

Please, I beg- Oh!

Don't say no.

But then to say yes-

Oh what a mess...

You clock, won't you slow? 

Do not worry, I will go.

No! Tick a little faster.

It's you, you're the disaster.

Okay, I surrender.

Treat me tender.

Actually, I change my mind-

I will wait for the other one, blind.

Crossroads

Have you ever entertained the idea that perhaps the world around you doesn’t actually exist? Like that it all may be in your head? I’m thinking A Beautiful Mind... The Matrix...

I think we take our existence for granted.

I mean, let’s think about this for a second, what proof do we actually have? Perhaps we’re kidding ourselves, or perhaps there’s a huge amount of trust involved, but I guess we don’t have much choice, do we?

If we did come to the conclusion that what we see, experience, and feel each day isn’t real, then what could we actually do about it? What would you do? Would you cast aside your newfound belief or would you dare to uncover the truth, even if it meant your entire world as you knew it would come crashing down?

Evelyn is at a crossroads. Which road will she take? I don't think she even knows it... because you know what? I don't even know it, and I made her. I find myself asking "Where do I want her to go?" But I guess the better question is "Where would Evelyn choose to go?"

Indeed, where would Evelyn choose to go?

Winter

Winter. It is at our doorstep. It doesn't knock politely or ring the doorbell once. No, it doesn't even wait for the door to be opened- it finds any nook or cranny, any hole you hadn't noticed or were too lazy to fix. It seeps through, quite unnoticed, until the chill reaches your skin and runs down your spine. Then you start to notice the walls, the floor- they become your enemy, unable to defend the battle line as they too allow the cold to surround you. There is no escape, no warmth to be found and you feel as though you might suffocate from the intensity of it all... Winter is cold in more ways than one.

Not only is it cold, but dark too. A sinister, foreboding darkness of nothing good to follow. Winter is the enemy. It gets all the blame. It takes all the blame. But it doesn't care. It will continue to haunt you, year after year. It waits in the shadows, like a fox, licking its chops, ready to pounce at just the right moment.

Yet some winters are colder than others. And Evelyn is about to enter into her coldest and darkest.