A lot of people have asked me if the main character in my book is based on myself. I've been safely saying "no" for six years now. But I'm starting to see my own life emerge in her life. Situations, personalities, attitudes... But her story is about her, not me, I convince myself. And yet the feelings I experienced at certain moments in my life is all too similar to the feelings she is experiencing in her life. I guess the difference is the experiences themselves. I've never been through what she has been through. And I'm glad for it!
Anyway, back to the risk. I'm going to share with you a part of my life that was hard to face. It happened a very long time ago and I feel at peace about it now. However, it is awfully interesting how Evelyn is taking upon the same emotions as I did...
Ok. Breathe. Here goes:
And I find myself thinking about him again.
His face creeps back into my mind.
But I push it away.
I cannot face it, not today of all days.
It's too much for me to handle.
Too much for me to bear.
I am not strong enough yet.
And there is nothing to hold me up
No one to lean on.
I cannot do this on my own.
And I start to wonder if I will ever be strong enough
To stand on my own.
To face it without crumbling, cracking, flaking away in the sun.
I cringe at the thought,
And in my mind, run away and hide.
I wasn't strong enough then, I am not now.
Oh will I ever be?
Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?
