The rabbit hole

The slope is slippery

I slide uncontrollably

My heels won't catch

Down. Down. Down I go.

What began as a joyride

Has turned into mud, blood,

And an unknown sound ringing in my ear.

The crevasse appears bottomless.

When the fear kicked in and I tried to go back

A voice laughed maliciously in my mind,

"Silly girl. Silly girl."

It taunted that I was theirs for the taking.

The voice applauded at their own cunning,

But I refused to give credit,

For as I travelled deeper I began to realise:

I lost control the moment I slipped.

Hibernation

You know those times in your life where you look around yourself and realise that you are not where you are meant to be? That you had planned on being elsewhere, but slowly, surely you sunk into a rut without even realising it. Like putting a frog in cold water and slowly bringing it to boil, your dreams die a painful death because you weren't diligent enough, weren't smart enough, weren't experienced enough. Your age let you down. The worst part about it, is that you have been in this place for a while but you didn't realise it until now. You've grown use to the place. It's comfortable. It's a place I like to call "hibernation."

Evelyn has fallen into the slumber of winter and is not about to wake up any time soon.

A well-fashioned routine and

The habits of old,

I look around with my eyes closed.

My ears fall deaf to the wind.

I am more awake when I'm asleep.

More asleep when I'm awake.

I am hibernation.

I felt Autumn

I felt autumn the other day. It came quite unexpectedly: between the shadow of a tree and a soft, cool breeze. Up until now it's either been rain or scorching sun. This breeze reminded me of something, the way a smell often does. I think I felt Seasons. Like a long lost friend it all flooded back to me - the story, the characters, the world - and I've been bursting ever since to get back to my office.

Now as I sit here, that peace has returned. I didn't notice its absence through the busyness of life and its fast-paced changes. But now that I am here, I remember that deep longing; that my story world could become more alive than just in my head, that I could immerse myself in it until it became like breathing.

Evelyn- I'd almost forgotten her name. I'd almost forgotten her journey and her importance. I'd almost forgotten why I dreamed her into existence in the first place.

I look forward to the day when you get to discover why I dreamed her into existence. Consider this my resuming my role as author to her life- her breathing.